Dear Girlies,
Yesterday I was having a dream about you. You were both laying in your crib and I had just come home and gone into your room to pick you up. I was just starting to pick you up when I semi-woke up. I was laying there trying to get myself to go back to sleep…I had to go back to sleep so that I could pick you up and hold you; there was this huge sense of urgency. I was telling myself ‘You have got to get back to sleep now!’…but I couldn’t. It was like I went into a panic because I couldn’t fall back asleep. I was so mad at myself; I had just missed a chance to hold you one more time. For the rest of the day I felt this huge burden of regret because I didn’t get to hold you, if even in a dream.<\/p>\n
Today, it seems silly that I was mad at myself over a dream. I have no control over dreams so why do I let them upset me so much? I know that I have to focus on our good memories to keep myself out of those very dark places.<\/p>\n
The other day daddy took his shirt off and his arm pits reminded me of you. Yes, it is goofy, but that’s ok because I had such a good memory of when we used to give you both baths. I would wash your ‘arm pitties’ and make stinky faces; teasing you that you had stinky pitties. I’m not sure if you thought I was hilarious or if you were embarrassed by your un-cool mom, but I’m sticking with the hilarious school of thought.<\/p>\n
I hold these memories so close to me. I’m so thankful that you gave me such amazing times to reflect on. Your daddy and I love you both so very much.
Love,
Mommy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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