{"id":19,"date":"2010-02-22T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-22T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2020-11-30T22:23:23","modified_gmt":"2020-11-30T22:23:23","slug":"lovely-carynne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/?p=19","title":{"rendered":"Lovely Carynne"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Carynne,<\/p>\n<div>I&#8217;ve tried to write this post to you a few times today, and each time I&#8217;ve had to stop.  I&#8217;m so scared of this anniversary.  I don&#8217;t know what to expect; I don&#8217;t know how I will feel.  Today my head just kept playing our last moments over and over and I wish instead that I would replay good moments.  Happy moments.  <\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>This last year has been horrible without you.  Everyday I miss you more and more.  Some days it physically hurts that you aren&#8217;t in my arms.  Some days I want to scream in anger that you aren&#8217;t with us anymore.  Some days I just cry until I am out of tears.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I wish I could better understand why this happened to you and your sister; why this happened to our family.  I wish I knew that you were ok.  I wish you knew how much I love you.  I wish you were here so that I could tell you that in person.  It&#8217;s not fair that I can&#8217;t tell you.  It&#8217;s not fair that I have to write you a letter to tell you instead of showing you.  It&#8217;s just not fair that you&#8217;re not here.  You belong here, with me and daddy and Sydney.  <\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>There are nights that I sit crying, begging you to come back to me.  Why can&#8217;t you be with us?  Why can&#8217;t we hear your beautiful laugh?  Why can&#8217;t we see your sweet smile?  Why do we have to resort to pictures and videos to be with you?  I wish I had more answers.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Today, on this year anniversary of your death, I will try to remember good memories.  I won&#8217;t focus on my sadness.  I will love you with everything that I have.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Love,<\/div>\n<div>Mommy<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Carynne, I&#8217;ve tried to write this post to you a few times today, and &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","latest_post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}