{"id":132,"date":"2009-02-01T04:16:00","date_gmt":"2009-02-01T04:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/2009\/02\/01\/letting-it-all-out\/"},"modified":"2009-02-01T04:16:00","modified_gmt":"2009-02-01T04:16:00","slug":"letting-it-all-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/?p=132","title":{"rendered":"Letting it all out"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Some background info:<br \/>My name is Brook. \u00a0I am married to Jake. \u00a0I have twin daughters, Sydney and Carynne. \u00a0They are beautiful sweet girlies who were recently diagnosed with Werdnig-Hoffman Disease. \u00a0I am devastated. \u00a0These days I feel like I can&#8217;t keep the thoughts in my head straight so bullets will have to do.<\/p>\n<p>Today:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Today we celebrated the girls&#8217; 5 month birthday with a princess party. \u00a0They weren&#8217;t really into it because they were tired and overstimulated.<\/li>\n<li>Today my mom and dad brought us their generator because the girls are using so many machines that we can&#8217;t survive without electricity.<\/li>\n<li>Today Carynne threw up and scared the shit out of me&#8230;I didn&#8217;t have the suction machine put together and it felt like it took forever before I could help her get her throat cleared.<\/li>\n<li>Today I told my mom and dad that I don&#8217;t want to bury the girls in my hometown, an hour away from where we live now, because I can&#8217;t handle the thought of being that far from them.<\/li>\n<li>Today I was mad that I had to think about my girls dying.<\/li>\n<li>Today I didn&#8217;t cry.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I feel bitter today. \u00a0Almost angry that I have no control of time, or genetics or breath. \u00a0It was so hard celebrating a birthday when I know that we&#8217;re just trying to get in as many birthdays as possible before there are no more. \u00a0I&#8217;m out of words. \u00a0I wish that I wasn&#8217;t feeling so down; I wish that nights weren&#8217;t so hard. \u00a0I feel like I am trying so hard to soak in every single minute of my girls&#8217; life that I come down off of this high at the end of the day. \u00a0I know that some days will be easier and some days will be harder, but today is just bittersweet.<\/p>\n<p>Nevermind&#8230;Today I did cry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some background info:My name is Brook. \u00a0I am married to Jake. \u00a0I have twin daughters, &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","latest_post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=132"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}