Dear Sweet Girlies,
I miss you so much today. Carynne, I miss the way you suck in your bottom lip when you’re getting ready to smile; I miss the way you hold onto your puppy’s ear; I miss dancing with you when Ellen dances; I miss holding your hand while feeding you; I miss laying beside you on the floor and talking to you. Sydney, I miss the bubbles you blow; I miss the way you get so excited and start breathing hard when we’re playing; I miss you ‘lifting weights’; I miss smelling your stinky feet.<\/p>\n
I miss hearing all of your machines. Just a month ago you were living without the assistance of oxygen and in such a short time we had to continually increase your liter flow. I’m sorry if we pushed it on you too much. I miss watching your Oximeters. I think I became addicted to checking your numbers…making sure your oxygen was at 100% and your heart wasn’t beating too fast. I miss that stupid noisy suction machine. I know you hated it, but it helped you. They came and took all of your machines yesterday and at the time I was glad because I don’t want to remember you being hooked up to machines, but today the house is too quiet. The phones have stopped ringing; the front door is locked; it’s just me and your daddy left to pick up the pieces.<\/p>\n
I was doing laundry this morning and you still had clothes in the dryer. Every piece I pulled out was the cutest thing you’d ever worn. Every piece brought me comfort and tears at the same time.<\/p>\n
I am so lucky that I got to be your mommy, if just for a short time. Thank you so much for letting me get to know you and love you like I have never loved before. Thank you for the countless sleepless nights, the dirty diapers and the constant worry. Thank you for all of the firsts; I think my heart melted the first time I held you in my arms; the first time I saw you smile; the first time I heard you talking to each other over the monitors; the first time you wanted nobody but me.<\/p>\n
It’s hard not to be sad, but I’m really trying to be strong for you. I know that your bodies weren’t meant for this world, but your souls are with us forever!
Love,
Mommy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Sweet Girlies,I miss you so much today. Carynne, I miss the way you suck … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","latest_post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=122"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sweetgirlies.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}