Lately Jake and I have been annoying the snot out of each other. I have been tempted on several occassions to walk across the room and just slap him. While that temptation has been strong, I have withheld (even though it would be a great way to release tension). I’m kidding a little bit, but seriously we are not dealing very well with each other right now. You see, he is the type of guy that deals with his emotions by putting them as far out of his mind as possible. This means he wants to be distracted by other things 24/7. Whether it is hanging out with friends, or going for a jog, or playing video games 15 hours a day, he is always doing something to fill his time. I, being a typical pisces, want him to be with me 24/7. I know it sounds very needy of me.
I really don’t like our therapist. It’s not that I dislike her as a person, I just feel like she isn’t giving us any advice at all as to how to deal with these types of issues. She is a grief counselor and she sees us separately, but honestly I feel like we need a marriage counselor more than anything. We need to learn how to work better at giving the other person what he/she needs. We also need to learn to be more understanding with each others different grieving processes. Maybe I should just give it some more time…who knows?
On another note, my dad is going for his second round of chemotherapy today. It seems to be going ok. He hasn’t felt too nauseous because he is taking some miracle medicine that helps to settle his stomach. He is also taking a lot of painkillers so he is pretty loopy at times, but that’s ok. The tumor is big enough that if he takes his shirt off you can see it under his skin and he has lost a lot of weight, but other than that he is regular old Poppy 🙂
I hope everything goes well with your father. Maybe the counseler could see you togther also? If you think that it would be better. All the luck.
I think a counselor is a very personal thing and you need to find a good fit for you so try someone else out as well as a marriage counselor and see if you find someone you love. Good Luck and I love all the pictures of the girls, they are so cute!
You know…there’s something to be said about heartache and how each person handles it. I understand completely that you need/want Jake 24/7, and it hurts you that he doesn’t reciprocate, knowing that’s what you need. Most of my issues with my husband stem around us both reacting and feeling differently than the other during hard times…it’s hard. You then shift your anger feelings to him. I don’t know what would become of us if he had to endure what you and Jake have.
I think it’s a good idea to find a councelor for the two of you together, and for it to be someone you’re both comfortable with.
Lots of love and hugs to you.
Oh gosh, you are really dealing with what must be the worst event to deal with in life. Hang in there, just love each other. Men are always so hard to understand (well in my opinion)
Brook, I admire your strength. As a healthcare professional, i would encourage you to find a counselor that you feel helps you. Keep searching. It’s ok. You need what you need now. It is all about you and Jake! Marriage counselor would be good too. You have needs and Jake needs to meet them and vice versa. In my opinion, men just want to run when times get hairy. Grab him by the shirt and tell him you need him! : )