Dear Sweet Girlies,
Today you would have been 14 months old. It is hard to accept how quickly time passes to the outside world, but the minute you cross our threshold it’s standing still. Our house is still the same, your room is still the same, we haven’t touched the cabinet of medical supplies that were organized for you. I just don’t want to mess with what was familiar to you. This was your home; this is where your memories were created, and to change that would be very difficult for me.
I was thinking today about Halloween. We didn’t buy any treats this year for the tricksters that might come to the door. We won’t be turning on our light. Last year for Halloween we took you to Melanie and Eddie’s for their neighborhood party. We dressed you as Salt and Pepper and you were really cute. Afterward, we took you to Jason and Dee’s where you ate your dinner and then fell asleep in their bedroom. I’m very sad because I never took pictures of your first Halloween. What kind of mom, let alone scrapbooking mom, doesn’t take pictures of your first Halloween? I was so disappointed in myself. If only I had known that it would have been your only Halloween.
I think about you a lot. I miss you even more. I love you.
Love,
Mommy
Oh my word Brook. Everytime you post I cry. Everytime. I just want to reach out and hug you. Seriously the hardest thing in my life would be not having my baby. And I don't say that to rub it all over you. I say that out of respect for your strength and endurance. Your pain. Your hurt. Your life. I'm overwhelmed with emotion for you. Truly I am. And I am so so sorry tragedy had to strike you.
From my heart to yours {{hugs}}.
I wanted to add how stinkin cute salt and pepper would be for twins =)
I so wish I could change things for you. ((hugs))