I was in Randolph County this weekend for Relay for Life. They played lots of songs some sad, some inspirational, and alot just to keep everyone awake the whole time. They played a series of what I would call sweet songs about losing someone and for this event it was about losing someone to cancer. They played one song during this series of songs that made me miss you two so much. I was taking a break behind the track, sitting with my sisters on a picnic table. As one song ended and the next one began I started crying just hearing the intro to the song, it was the Hawaiian version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. As the song kept playing I cried harder and harder, my sisters weren’t sure why I was crying but my sister Vanessa said “it’s making you think of the babies isn’t it?” Now girlies, I have cried many tears for you but this was the first serious cry since we lost you. This crying was painful and as that song played the wound felt just as fresh as it did when I heard it at your viewing. I didn’t remember the song being as long as it was, I just wanted to go up the DJ and say please play another song! It’s such a beautiful song but it put me in such a sad place, I closed my eyes and memories of you flashed through my head much like the slide show your mommy and daddy made.
In addition to the deep feeling of sadness I got angry because it brought me back to the place I was during your funeral. WHY? Why did we have to lose you? Why do my friends have to go through such pain?…………….Then the song ended and my tears started to dry. I told myself this isn’t just a walk for cancer, but a celebration of life so I decided to walk a lap for you girls in your memory. During that lap I thought of all the positive things you’ve done for so many people and I just celebrated your life to get me out of the place where I question things. Because of you there are parents that are cherishing their children like never before, families are closer, friendships are stronger. Because of you more people are aware of SMA and that many more people can join the fight to find a cure. Although you are gone the eyes you’ve opened may lead to treatment that will save other lives. I am trying not to question why you’re gone I just have to find strength in all the positive you’ve done in this world.
No words can describe how I care for you. I just miss you!
~Auntie Jess~
Brook,
I have followed your story via Annie and Jenni. Your story has truly touched so many. Your girls will forever be remembered as such warriors. Angelic, gentle and full of God's grace. I am reaching out for information on who created your Paypal donation button for the girls. I'm trying to recreate something like that for my cousin. Her son was born with no esophagus and his current doctors in Long Beach botched the surgery, breaking his rib and tearing the tissues. They are attempting to fly him to Boston to be under the care of specialists and I am going to try to raise some funds for them. Any information you can provide would be soooo greatly appreciated.
Thanks so much.
Robin in Texas