Pearl Jam helps

I went back to work last week and let me tell you, it really stinks! When I was in school people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would tell them that I wanted to sit at a computer all day and just design stuff. Well, that’s what I do. I sit at a computer and do graphic design stuff all day. This is a job that I used to love. I know that sounds crazy; how many people love their jobs? I did, though. I love my little family of 4 co-workers, I love the atmosphere, I love that I am able to be creative all day. But, this sitting at a computer stuff is kicking my butt!!

I have a really hard time concentrating because I just sit here and go over every little detail of the girls in my head. I think about all of the little routines we used to have. After my first day back to work, I cried during the entire drive home. I took the long way, following the Fall Creek Trail, just so that I could be by myself on the road. I don’t know how it is that in the middle of the city, at rush hour, this road is so empty and peaceful. As long as I have worked here, if I have had a rough day, I hop into my car to drive home and turn up Yellow Ledbetter as loud as my ears can handle. I put it on repeat and just glide all the way home. Yellow Ledbetter has been getting A LOT of play the last two weeks!

We are going to Cincinnati this weekend to do a charity run for Families of SMA. I started thinking that the last time Jake and I went to Cincinnati, we were going to a Pearl Jam concert. At the end of the concert, they played Baba O’Reilly and I slipped into my Pearl Jam coma. The kind where the music just sweeps you in and you are instantly in a better place. I need so badly to be in a better place. Being at work has just made me so sad. It will probably drive our car-mates crazy, but I think we’ll need to listen to Ten, or Lost Dogs, the entire drive over. Or maybe some solo stuff from Into the Wild? I need Pearl Jam to put me in that better place.

Brook