Dear Girlies,
Yesterday we said goodbye to you. You didn’t look like yourselves, you looked like little porcelain baby dolls laying together in your bassinet. You were holding hands. I was blown away by the number of people that came on Friday to say goodbye to you and tell you how much they love you. Kim is taking all of the cards and putting them in a book for you. And the flowers…they are all just beautiful…I hope that wherever you are, you can smell them and smile. Amelia wanted to give you a message so she wrote them on balloons and let them go up into the sky. She held my hand during your service and helped give out big hugs to everybody afterward.
It seems like wherever I go in the house, I am reminded of you. Sonya picked up all of your things and put them in your room. She closed the heat vent and the door. I went in there yesterday and it was so dark and cold, but I know that if everything were throughout the house it would be even harder on me. All of your ‘aunts’ and ‘uncles’ came over yesterday and we played SingStar. I got really upset when MC Hammer was playing because it reminded me of you. Do you remember when you were still too small for most of your clothes and we put you in pj pants and shirts. We teased you that you were wearing Hammer pants and then we made you do the Hammer dance. It was so funny and even now I am smiling thinking about it, but for some reason yesterday it made me sad.
Heather is going back to Colorado tonight and Sonya and everybody else is going back to work in the morning. Tomorrow it will just be me and Daddy. I think we are just going to sleep the entire day. I would like to go to sleep for a few weeks and wake up and have everything be ok. I don’t think that is possible though. You can’t sleep off this kind of pain the same way you sleep off a headache or a cold. Even when I’m sleeping, I’m thinking of you.
I want you to know that we love you. I hope that we made the right decisions for you. I hope that everything was done the way you would have wanted. I hope that you’re in a place now where you aren’t suffering and struggling. I hope that you know just how special you are to so many people.
Love,
Mommy
Brook,
These are such precious letters to the girls…. My thoughts are with you. I agree on wishing we could sleep for weeks….
Lindsay
http://www.rememberingavi.blogspot.com
My heart just breaks for you and your family. I hope that you can someday find peace with such a devastating end to the lives of your beautiful girls. I think sleeping is probably a good thing now. Know there are so many that care about you out in the world and weep for your family and your sweet girlies.
Your letters touch me so deeply, as I know they do your little girls. And Brook…you made the right decisions. I promise.
~Annie
Hugs!
Brooke, your story was shared on the nest/bump and my heart just aches for you. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are experiencing. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time.
Brook, your letters are so full of love – what a gift your girlies gave you to have so much love. Please hold on to it and keep writing to them, because they are listening and loving you right back.
-Nancy (armo from bump/nest)
My heart ached reading your post. Your girls were extraordinary; thank you for sharing them with us for even so brief a time.
(Skatcat from the Nest)
I cry everytime I read your posts. Sometime I go to your post just to see pictures of the girls again. I think about them all the time. My daughter and your girls are only 1 week apart. It’s so weird but I missed them with you.
Ann (aivi08 thebump)
My heart just aches for you. love and light to you.
you made the right decisions for them…always. and we will never let them forget how much they mean to all of us!!! they are with me every moment…
I havent read your blog before today. I’m not a mother to multiples either. But I came across your blog and cried for you and your husband. I just wanted to say that your family is in my thoughts and I’ll be praying for yall!
I just heard of your story. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is broken for you. I pray God will lay his hand on your heart and give you peace.
You are forever in my thoughts and prayers hon.
I am so sorry for your loss. A good friend of mine just lost her daughter (also a twin) a month ago. It is a pain I wished I would never witness, a pain I hope to never feel. And it breaks my heart that you and so many others have to go through it. I will pray for you, your hubby, and those beautiful Angels you have up there, playing with all the other babies.